I am taking a shaman: A spiritual husband or wife can interfere with the life and relationship of an earthly partner
A shamanic wedding is not just a formal ceremony, but a deeply spiritual ritual that draws inspiration from indigenous cultures and their relationship with nature. The ceremony includes various elements, such as purification rituals, involvement of four elements (earth, water, fire, air), singing, drumming, and symbolic acts that strengthen the relationship between partners and their connection with the universe.
The shamanic wedding ceremony differs from traditional forms. It doesn't contain the promise of "forever", but it's an expression of intentions that partners communicate to each other. Each of them speaks about what they want to bring into the relationship and what they will let bloom between them. It's not about ownership or formal commitment, but about a common journey that partners consciously choose.
Roots of learning shape the ceremony
The tradition of shamanic weddings stems from the teachings of the Medicine Wheels, which were once promoted by the so-called Chiefs of Emptiness and later the Society of Twisted Hairs. Mandalam.cz writes. Arwyn Dreamwalker from the Métis tribe (with Navajo and Irish roots) brought this knowledge to Europe.
A shamanic wedding does not take place in a church or office. Nature itself is its temple. Guests are part of the ceremony, their role is to send love from their hearts and co-create a living temple of energy. Each ceremony is unique, shaped by the wishes of the couple and their spiritual journey.
According to tradition, marriage is concluded for a year and a day. After this, the partners meet again to renew their bond in a sacred ritual - or if they feel that their paths are diverging, they respectfully part ways. It's an offer, not a commitment.
One of the highlights of the ceremony is often drinking from a traditional Native American wedding vase, which has one body and two necks. It symbolizes the merging of two beings into one while maintaining their individuality.
Key Elements of Shamanic Wedding
Cleansing and Preparation
Before the ceremony itself, the couple goes through a cleansing ritual, which may include herbal baths, the use of fragrance smoke, or meditation. This step symbolizes the elimination of negative energies and the preparation of the souls for connection.
Element Connection
The ritual often involves the involvement of four elements - fire, water, earth and air. Each element has its own meaning: fire for passion, water for emotions, earth for stability and air for communication. For example, couples can light a fire together or plant a tree, symbolizing their shared life.
Singing and drumming
Music is a key part of the shamanic ceremony. Shamanic drumming or singing helps induce a meditative state, enables deeper connection with the spiritual world, and promotes energy synchronization between partners.
Symbolic acts
Activities such as the exchange of amulets, sharing of bread and drink, or giving thanks to Mother Earth through sacrificial gifts are common at shamanic weddings.
Snow weddings
One woman described her experience of a shamanic wedding she had with her partner Woods. They lived together for a long time before they decided to get married - not legally, but spiritually. They wanted their witness to be the spirit itself.
In winter, they went to their land, a snow-covered landscape with pines and junipers. In the snow and silence, they spoke with the spirits of the earth, with ancestors, with the elements of earth, air, water and fire. They expressed love, exchanged rings and laid two red roses on the snowy spring. Blue light balls appeared in the photos - a sign that they were blessed.
Several years later, they decided to legalize their union. They again chose winter, the ceremony took place on their terrace under snow and sun. Friends formed a circle and told happy stories from their shared life. The space was filled with laughter and love. They exchanged the same rings again and were proclaimed husbands. Afterwards, they shared a meal - simple, heartfelt, and deeply intimate.
Every wedding can be a sacred ceremony, whether it takes place in a circle of a few friends, or in front of hundreds of guests. It is important for the bride and groom, as well as the guests to realize that it is more than just a celebration - it is a sacred union of two souls. Such rituals transform a wedding into a spiritual celebration. And if a couple feels that their original wedding did not have enough sanctity, they can always perform a "reaffirmation" - a vow renewal ceremony, for example, on an anniversary.
Spiritual husband or wife - a fascinating phenomenon across the world
In various cultures around the world, there is a very interesting and often mystical phenomenon - spiritual spouses. This phenomenon is closely related to shamanism, but it also occurs in other religious and spiritual traditions.
Basically, it's the idea that a person can have an invisible partner from the spiritual world who forms a special connection with them.
For a shaman, such a spiritual partner is often key. They become his helper and guide in working with the spiritual world. This relationship can take various forms: from purely symbolic through romantic to intimate. Shamans describe establishing contact with a spiritual partner through dreams, rituals, or deep trance.
In some cultures, it is even considered completely natural for each shaman to receive a spiritual husband during initiation.
Africa - everyone has their own spiritual partner
We encounter a number of fascinating ideas on the African continent:
Ove in Togo and their descendants in Haiti (Water traditions): In these traditions, wedding ceremonies are also practiced between deities and their human followers. It is believed that an intimate relationship can exist between the spirit and the person, which is mainly manifested in dreams.
Baule on the Ivory Coast: Among the Baule, it is believed that every adult man and woman have a spiritual husband. Women have blolo bian ("spirit husband"), men have blolo bla ("spirit wife"). These beings appear in dreams and are always described as very beautiful.
It's interesting that a spiritual spouse is considered a rival of the earthly spouse. For example, a woman might say that her real rival is not her husband's mistress, but his blolo bla - a spiritual wife.
The Baule even create statues and figurines representing these spiritual partners. They are used especially in problems such as infertility or other troubles in a partner's life. If the spiritual partner does not bring help, it can even be "thrown away".
South Nigeria - Yoruba and Igbo: In these cultures, concepts of so-called "husbands and wives of the sea" are common. These are spiritual entities associated with the ocean. A traditional Yoruba shaman might consider such dreams a blessing, while a Christian or Muslim from the same tribe would see it as a misfortune and seek spiritual help to "remove" it.
Europe and demons tempting in dreams
In Christian Europe, beings known as incubus (spiritual husband) and succubus (spiritual wife) appear.
According to Saint Augustine, there are many testimonies of women who these beings visit at night.
These spiritual marriages were associated with witchcraft, enchantment, and sin. It was believed that a person "attracts" a spiritual partner through promiscuity or forbidden magic.
In France, the idea of sylphs - air spirits, who visit women in dreams and cause them "sweet visions" also emerged.
Oceania - Marriage in Dreams
Hawaii (Sandwich Islands) The locals believed that spiritual ancestors ʻaumakua could have intimate contact with living people at night. These spiritual partners, however, were not perceived negatively, on the contrary, they could be useful.
Papua New Guinea - Kaluli tribe: Here it was believed that a healer would marry a spiritual woman in his dream. When he had a child with her, he gained the ability to leave his body and travel to the spiritual world.
Indonesia - Sumba Island One man here had a dream in which he was visited by two wild spiritual beings in the form of women. One of them became his "spiritual wife" and this bond also persisted in his descendants.
South America - connection with a spiritual wife as part of initiation
Shamanism in South America has many similarities with Siberian shamanism, including the idea of a spiritual husband.
Guatemala - K'iche': Anthropologist Barbara Tedlock found that priests and fortune tellers from Momostenango talk about their bars - personal spiritual icons, which appear to them in dreams as women. They even behave very lovingly towards these spiritual partners, describing kisses, touches and expressions of affection.
Andean cultures – Tinku festival: This festival is held every year in May in honor of the goddess Pachamama, Mother Earth. Bloody sacrifices and rituals are part of the celebrations, during which shamans seek their spiritual partner.
When we look at all these examples, we see that the phenomenon of spiritual spouses is truly worldwide. Somewhere it is perceived as a gift, help and blessing, elsewhere as a disaster or even a curse. However, the common denominator is the deep human desire for a connection that transcends the physical world - a connection with the spiritual world, which can be as passionate, intimate and sacred as the relationship between two people. A shamanic wedding is about freedom, respect, and sincere sharing. It's not about the perfect dress or a luxurious feast, but about the connection of two beings in front of witnesses from among people, nature, and spirits. It is a journey where marriage is not property, but a shared journey - and where every step has a sacred meaning.
Source: author's text, Mandalam.cz, braidedway.org, raffaello.life
