I take a Swede: Instead of a gift, guests pay for the hospitality themselves and can kiss the bride
In Sweden, wedding customs are proof that even modern countries can maintain romantic and symbolic rituals that give the wedding day an irreplaceable atmosphere. From walking down the aisle together to the rules of kissing during the reception. A Swedish wedding is an experience worth exploring. And sometimes it all starts quite ordinarily - perhaps with a meeting in a library...
Klara, a young Czech girl from Olomouc, went to Stockholm for a student exchange program after school. She loved books and on a rainy day, she went to borrow some Swedish fiction to improve her language skills. In the novel alley, she was trying to read the title of one book when someone gently bumped into her. "Förlåt!" apologized the blond-haired man in a checked shirt. That's how she met Elias - an introverted bookworm, who was reading Czech author Kundera in the original language. Coffee followed, discussions about literature, common walks around the city, trips to the lakes and after a few years even a proposal. Klara was not only fascinated by Elias, but also by his homeland - and in the end by the wedding customs, which she experienced herself.
Pre-wedding rituals
Gold and silver for luck
At the start of the wedding day, the bride's parents observe an ancient ceremony. Before the bride goes to the church, her mother places a gold coin in her right shoe and her father gives her a silver coin for the left one. This ritual, handed down through generations, is meant to bring prosperity, stability, and happiness into the marriage. Few brides would miss this symbolic moment.
Clothing
Grooms usually wear black suits or tuxedos. As for Swedish brides, they traditionally wear white wedding dresses. In addition, if a couple gets married in a Swedish church, sometimes the church owns a tiara, which the bride can use at the wedding.
Three rings instead of two
Swedish brides wear not two, but three rings after the wedding.
The first represents engagement, the second the actual marriage, and the third is dedicated to future motherhood. It symbolizes the woman's commitment to becoming a mother and expresses her dedication to a shared future with her partner. However, recently in Sweden, couples are choosing to wear two rings – engagement and wedding.
The traditional look of a bride also includes a crown. In the past, it was made from flowers, herbs, or leaves, but today it is replaced by a magnificent tiara. The crown once served as a sign of virginity. If the bride didn't have it at her wedding, it could signal that she was not entering the marriage as a virgin.
Music
A civil wedding, whether at the municipal office or, for example, in a rented wedding venue, lasts about five minutes due to the legal part itself. In this case, the couple has the freedom to customize the ceremony according to their ideas. The only condition is that no religious elements may be present in the civil ceremony if it is conducted by a civil celebrant.
On the other hand, if a couple decides to get married in a church, the ceremony tends to be significantly richer, especially when it comes to music. It plays an important role in evangelical (Lutheran) ceremonies. At the entrance, there is a joint singing of two songs, one to two musical performances by a singer, musician, or live band, as well as final music upon leaving the church. These solo songs are often personally significant for the couple and give the ceremony a striking, intimate dimension.
Wedding Ceremony
Together to the Altar
Unlike traditional weddings, where the groom waits at the altar and the bride walks down the aisle with her father, in Sweden it is common for the betrothed to walk the aisle side by side. This symbolizes the equality of the partners and their common journey through life.
When the coronation wedding of Princess Victoria took place, she decided to take an unconventional step. Instead of walking with her future husband, she asked her father Carl to lead her down the aisle. She met with the groom in front of the altar for the first time. Most Swedish weddings do without the traditional entourage of bridesmaids and groomsmen.
If you're planning a wedding on a budget, this Swedish tradition may serve as a perfect reason to avoid hosting a large wedding procession.
Another interesting tradition that has been preserved for many generations states that the one of the pair who says a decisive "Yes, I do" louder at the altar during the wedding vow exchange, will gain a leading position in the marriage. He or she will have the final say in critical decisions in the family. Klara admitted that competing with Swedes in decibels is tough. Elias won by a landslide.
Wedding feast
A toast to welcome the bride
The beginning of the wedding feast in Sweden is almost always accompanied by a ceremonial toast. At the beginning, guests are usually greeted with champagne and this moment opens the so-called brudskål – wedding toast, usually spoken by one of the fathers when the newlyweds enter the room. However, the bride's father usually gives this speech.
Seating guests
Another interesting Swedish tradition is the seating of guests during the wedding dinner. Couples who are invited as guests often purposely sit separately. This custom may be confusing or unpleasant for some, but the goal is to encourage social contact and fun. Ultimately, however, it is up to the newlyweds what style of seating they choose and it can be an opportunity for guests to meet new people.
Wedding menu
A three-course menu is often served. A popular appetizer is a fish dish - for example, Skagen toast or toast with roe. The main course is usually meat, with veal, deer or reindeer meat often appearing on the plates. Lastly, there is a dessert made of wild berries or seasonal fruit. Swedish strawberries, wild strawberries or mulberries are particularly typical.
Speeches are very common at Swedish weddings. If you've never been to a Swedish wedding, don't be surprised if the speeches stretch out over the entire dinner. They are usually very funny, touching, and carry a great deal of personal meaning. This is a tradition that many Swedes deeply value.
At most Swedish weddings, there are one or two main emcees - toast masters or toast madam - who are in charge of the day's program. They take care of the entertainment, oversee a smooth flow, and most importantly, introduce the speakers and give space for speeches. These emcees are usually chosen by the spouses at the beginning of the wedding planning process and often participate in the preparation of the overall wedding day schedule.
Swedish Cake Ritual
Unlike the traditional cutting of the wedding cake by newlyweds, in Sweden, each guest comes to collect their piece personally.
A Gift? Prefer to pay for dinner
On a Swedish wedding invitation, you may be surprised by the request to pay for dinner. Many couples are already living together and don't need new household equipment - therefore, instead of gifts, they prefer practical help with the costs of the feast. So if you've been invited to a Swedish wedding and find that you have to stay overnight, it's likely that you'll have to cover the accommodation fees out of your own pocket. Honor exceptions.
Kissing in Swedish Style
The wedding kiss here becomes a fun tradition. If the groom leaves the room during the feast, other men have the opportunity to kiss the bride, usually only on the cheek. And the same rule applies vice versa. When the bride leaves the feast, the waiting ladies can give the groom a friendly kiss.
Although this custom seems non-traditional, in fact, it is a fun way to express love, friendship, and a relaxed atmosphere. In Sweden, there is no tradition of throwing a wedding bouquet.
Post-wedding rituals
Morning gift
In Sweden, there is a tradition called Morgongåva, which translates as "morning gift". Originally, it was a gift from the husband to his wife the morning after the wedding, but today it is common for partners to give something to each other. It can be a piece of jewelry, an elegant accessory, or a shared experience.
Red dress? Better not
Swedish weddings also have their fashion taboos. The red color of the dresses on guests is considered inappropriate - according to some, it indicates that you had an intimate relationship with the groom. Therefore, it is better to avoid this color.
Swedish Wedding
If you are interested in these traditions, some basic Swedish phrases may come in handy:
- Gifta sig - to get married / to get married
- Jag älskar dig - I love you
- Bröllop - wedding
- Brud - bride
- Brudgum - groom
Swedish wedding traditions show us that a celebration of love can be approached in an original, playful way with a sense of balance. Each country has its own peculiarities - and it is in these peculiarities that weddings are unique.
Wedding of the Year
Having already mentioned Crown Princess Victoria above, you may be wondering what kind of wedding she had? It wasn't just an ordinary royal ceremony - in 2010, Sweden became the scene of a splendid aristocratic wedding, which drew the eyes of the whole world for several days.
At that time, wedding bells rang for Princess Victoria and her partner Daniel Westling, who once worked as a personal trainer. After eight years of relationship, they decided to seal their love at the altar - symbolically on the same day when her parents, King Carl XVI Gustaf and Queen Silvia got married, on June 19th. Victoria tried to honor her family with this gesture, but it could also be a way to ease the tension around choosing a partner. Daniel was not of noble descent and spoke a typical rural dialect, which initially caused some embarrassment in the royal couple. Only when historians revealed that his ancestors once belonged to the lower Swedish and Finnish nobility, did the ice slowly begin to break. The princess's parents finally reconciled with their future son-in-law and the wedding preparations could begin in full swing.
In Stockholm, rulers and nobles from all over the world met – rulers from Belgium, Holland, Spain, but also from Japan and Jordan accepted the invitation. The grand ceremony, held in the reconstructed Stockholm Cathedral Storkyrkan, was watched by thousands of guests directly in the temple and tens of thousands more through television screens.
The whole event was marked by royal luxury, security was provided by seven thousand members of the army and police, a quarter million inhabitants filled the streets of the capital. The estimated costs of the wedding exceeded two million euros (almost 50 million crowns), but the royal family counted on the investment to be returned a hundredfold through tourism and prestige.
The wedding celebrations lasted several days. It started with a historical dinner on the deck of a 18th century ship replica, continued with a private lunch at the castle, and culminated with a banquet, music performances and a lavish fireworks display. After the ceremony, the newlyweds were transported in an open carriage through the streets of Stockholm and after a half-hour ride, they were taken to the royal ship accompanied by salvoes of the navy and the flight of fighter jets.
Fortunately, Princess Victoria managed to avoid some outdated wedding customs of the past, such as a royal public dinner, dances of government officials with torches, or jointly leading the newlyweds into the wedding hall.
Even though the British royal family apologized, representatives of many monarchies did not miss the event. Victoria's story was also unique in that she was not originally intended to inherit the throne - it was supposed to go to her younger brother Carl Philip. Only after the amendment to the Act of Succession in 1980 did she officially become the crown princess.
The wedding in 2010 was not only historic, but also emotional - it combined traditions, modern values, and strong family ties. And as the newlyweds revealed shortly after the ceremony, their dream was to have a large family. Daniel did not hide his wish to have several children within ten years - and they ultimately managed to fulfill this vision. Just as it was with Klára and Elias. Even though they are not from a royal family, they love each other even more. Today, they live alternately in the Czech Republic and Sweden. Their wedding, where both cultural worlds blended, was full of symbols, laughter, and respect. And even though their lives were connected by books, wedding traditions reminded them that love stories are written in every language - and sometimes between two entirely different worlds.
Source: author's text, mojasvadba.sk, pluska.sk, theknot.com, wahlmanweddings.com, 2brides.se, swedishfreak.com
